I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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