On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize