I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
