I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
