if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
