brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
