just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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