With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
