Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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