Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
