We got so high we made milksteak
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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