I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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