White coat. Heels.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
