if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
