so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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