Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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