dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize