Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
