Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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