Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
