i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
