i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
