fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
