I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize