whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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