so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
