Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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