Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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