My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ugly people sure do ruin things
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
