apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
