I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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