I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
