oh god the rape fog is back!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
