Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize