i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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