hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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