My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
