matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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