Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
