Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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