Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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