So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Sober January is a disaster.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
