Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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