whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
