these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
