Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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