I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
