He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
