Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
