We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she told me i tasted like america
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize