I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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