My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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