I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
