And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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