i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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