they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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