He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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