she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
