gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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