On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
party gras won. party gras always wins.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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