i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
