YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
