Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
