I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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