Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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