Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize