Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
